happy new year

it is new year yet i only have one wish is to see you everyday though i know you are pulling yourself away from me. you will always be hers and not mine. i just wish for the last time i get to see you. no matter what i do i know nothing can change. i shall learn to forget about you

feeling scared and sad

Dear B,

i know i have no rights to be scared or sad about this but everytime when i see pictures of it or thought about it makes me feel every scared. i am very scared one day you will tell me you are getting married with her. i will feel devastated. no matter how i tried to let you go. i still miss you. still want you. still feel something is deeply missing when you are not present. although i may not know how to express myself when you are around but deep down in my heart i really want you. i know we have not spend the best time together but i really love you. maybe you are using me for your advantage but the truth is i really really love you that is why i am always giving and not receiving anything. no matter how many new people i met no one can replace you in my heart. i will always miss you and love you.

my wish for christmas

Dear Santa,

i know i have not been a good girl for the whole year and i do not deserve to get this wish from you but i really want this wish. this one and only wish that i have wished every year but it did not come true. is it because we are really not meant to be? is it because i am meant to find someone better than this person. my only wish is i get to see and spend time with him for chirstmas. but i really dont believe you will make my wish come true because i am not allowed to love this person nor share my ups and downs with this person. he is already taken. i should just let him go and find someone who would treat me better. till i find someone else i really wish i will have him for christmas.

PY