happy new year

it is new year yet i only have one wish is to see you everyday though i know you are pulling yourself away from me. you will always be hers and not mine. i just wish for the last time i get to see you. no matter what i do i know nothing can change. i shall learn to forget about you

feeling scared and sad

Dear B,

i know i have no rights to be scared or sad about this but everytime when i see pictures of it or thought about it makes me feel every scared. i am very scared one day you will tell me you are getting married with her. i will feel devastated. no matter how i tried to let you go. i still miss you. still want you. still feel something is deeply missing when you are not present. although i may not know how to express myself when you are around but deep down in my heart i really want you. i know we have not spend the best time together but i really love you. maybe you are using me for your advantage but the truth is i really really love you that is why i am always giving and not receiving anything. no matter how many new people i met no one can replace you in my heart. i will always miss you and love you.

my wish for christmas

Dear Santa,

i know i have not been a good girl for the whole year and i do not deserve to get this wish from you but i really want this wish. this one and only wish that i have wished every year but it did not come true. is it because we are really not meant to be? is it because i am meant to find someone better than this person. my only wish is i get to see and spend time with him for chirstmas. but i really dont believe you will make my wish come true because i am not allowed to love this person nor share my ups and downs with this person. he is already taken. i should just let him go and find someone who would treat me better. till i find someone else i really wish i will have him for christmas.

PY

cold hearted

dear b,

is it me or you are being cold hearted to me? i find you very cold to me lately. have you finally made the decision to be with her and going to leave me? if you have you could have told me. i really miss you. but i think you dont see it nor bother to do anything about it. i dont expect you to comfort me but at least tell me the truth that both of us are not meant to be cos you want to spend the rest of your life with her. honestly i dont know why am i fighting for you when i know regardless of that i do wont be as good as what she did. even when i do a million things it cannot replace the one thing she did for you. i dont know whether god wants to test me or you just want to play with me. dont i deserve something better?

why cant i forget about u?

Dear b,

I know you are trying hard to forget about me and still keep me as a friend. But honestly, my heart refused to forget about you. I kept thinking about you. The things we did the memories we had. I know you already gave your heart away to her.I have no place in that small heart of yours. I know I should treat myself better by juSt forgetting all about you and find a better man. To me you are someone special and I want to hold on for as long as I can until one day someone comes and pick me up. Why this world is so unfair that I am always the one who can't get the love I want. How much more test does God wants me to walk thru before he really gives me someone I deserve. Even if it is not you. I still want to be by your side till you really marry her. Obviously I am not as great as she is.

i am not the one

Dear B,

I really dont know how long more can i take it. i know you have told me before you will choose her. i really dont want you to choose her i want you to choose me instead. i know i cannot offer as much as she does. i know i will never be as perfect as her but i am willing to give you my heart. but maybe it is like everyone say. i am stingy. i shall let you who you think you will be happy with. to love someone is to let that person be happy not to make the suffer right? so from today onward i shall stop texting you. stop crying for you. stop thinking about you. and find my own happiness. i will definitely find someone better than you. who will treat me better than you and make my effort worth while. thanks for those sweet memories that i have to remove them to make my life better

should i let u go?

Dear B,

I know I have said I will let you go. I will not hang on to you and let you be happy with her without me being all jealous and annoyed over those times that you spent with her. But my heart seems to tell me I can't let you go.I don't want you to go. I have been having sleepless nights and tearing since the day i say i will let you go. Been thinking about you 24/7 since then. Though I know no matter what I do or what I say won't change your heart, i wish i was given a chance to show you the me who is not such a cry baby and a more caring person. but it seems like you just want to have fun with me and after that leave me to suffer in pain there. I really did show you everything about me yet you still choose her and make me your summer fling. The one regret i have is being your friend. i wish i didnt know you then i wont suffer in such pain.

thanks for the scar
Yokie