how much is too much?

i am curious how can people spend so much time together? honestly after spending afternoon and evening with you when you are back i feel like i need sometime alone. it felt like i have too much of you. i do enjoy spending it with you but i think i too need sometime alone to make the relationship more interested. even when i spend one whole day texting you, i feel like it is too much until i think i need some time off from you. though i like it when you do reply my text or give me a surprise text. maybe you are not the one? i seriously dont know yet. one thing for sure i know you are affecting my mood. i find that i am happy whenever i see your text but said when you dont. can i refrain myself from you? i really doubt that! but regardless of what we will see how things goes ya! i am really tempted to buy air tix to go see you. if god permit i will be flying after my china trip to go see you ya!

how much can i trust u?

Serious how much can I trust you? Will you delete it or keep it to blackmail me? I really love you so much that I ended up doing it again for  you. Yet again you always fall asleep and forgets all about me. Honestly I really hate weekend because it always give you the chance to spend time with her. What about me? Only when you comes back? So short! You can spend anytime of the day with her. Whereas me we have to pick our time and day. Sometimes I wonder do you like me for lust or you like me for my personality. You said I would have been the one but I think I was never the one. I don't feel like you did sacrifice anything for me but I .did many for you. Are you taking advantage of my love to you only you know. I am very heart broken

bad day at work

i had a very bad day at work. i wish i could tell u all and you could give me some advise but i know it will not happen that way. so all i can do is vent it out here. sigh! boss was disappointed with me, probably like many people said it i am extreme blunt. said something that i should not have said. though i didnt not meant it that way but why would people see it as i am lazy. i am seriously not a lazy person. regardless how much work you give me i will complete it. maybe i should learn to protect my butt instead of protecting other people's butt. i always feel like i am not appreciated. do you appreciate what i do for you last night? though it may not be your ideal situation but i do hope you give me credit on doing it. i probably would not talk to you anymore after what happened last night. you probably will take the advantage to black mail me or just forget about me. regardless of what i think i have woke up from this dream that i felt for you. thanks!

py

Thoughts on my off day

It is my off day today and I am at home with mom watching TVs. Somehow I cannot stop wondering what are you up to? Stress at work? Smoking as many cigarettes as always. I wanted to help you quit but I think you need it since you are so stress at work. I was really hoping that you will text me but deep down I know you won't text me because you have no time and you have your plates full with her and your stressful work. Hopefully one-day when you are free you will text me. Just giving me a smile icon would make me smile but I guess for now it is all cry

Heartbroken

It has been awhile since we know each other. maybe it is like you said the timing is not right that is why we cannot proceed further. As it is what we are doing is wrong and we are not only hurting each other but also the one true love of your. No doubt i wish that person is me, but i know regardless of how much i do or sacrifice i will not be the one for you. Though i am happy that every time you come back you still hang out with me. It is always sad for me to say goodbye to you when you will go back to her arms. Since now that i have decided not to text you anymore when you are back there, i have no where to vent out my frustration, my sorrows, and my love to. I have created this blog to pour them out. You may not read this nor know anything about it. But if you do at least you will know what you are meant to me even when i dont show it to you personally. 

py