Second thought

i have been thinking i want to go see you. yet i cannot bring myself to buy the next air tickets to go see you. after what happen last night i am afraid if i am left alone with you, i will not be able to control myself anymore. i hoped you did have fun last night though i could not give you fully what you want. if you are here or i am there i probably would have. i know you are using me for your own pleasure not that you cared how i feel or how i think or would pick me up with i am down. it is ok what is done is done. i will not cry nor regret because the fact that i do love you and no one else. probably if you marry her i will find someone else but i wont love that person as much as you.